today we had an event where our agency hosted a bunch of sales reps from websites we advertise on. there was a big room with lots of people. most of them i didn't know. the people i do know are from my agency, and i barely talk to them.
chopped. and screwed.
some of my finest characteristics of social awkwardness were on display: the helpless scanning of the room for anyone i was comfortable to talk to. cowering in the farthest corner from all activity hoping no one sees me. and when finding someone i'm comfortable with, latching onto them with the jaws of life and piggybacking onto every conversation they join because i've got nowhere else to go. checking my phone every 2 seconds for incoming messages that don't exist. taking my time at the snack table so i wouldn't have to dive back into the abyss of socializing. saying stupid, pointless shit in the few conversations i'm in like "good stuff" or "sure is getting crowded in here" because i was paranoid that i wasn't saying anything.
not to mention, i didn't know this was a formal occasion until the night before, and i had to make do with what clean clothes i had left. i ended up looking like a fucking cowboy with some button-up that didn't match my jeans and awkward looking dress shoes. all these glamorous media people were probably thinking i looked straight outta shanghai knights or something.
luckily, i was able to spend the evening at katrina's house helping her study. after social disasters like that, it helps to be around the few people in my life where there is no shyness or paralyzing fear that i don't belong.
the end!
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